Weep With Those Who Weep

Romans 12:15-"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep."

Early in my pastoral ministry I received one of those middle-of-the-night telephone calls that every pastor dreads: A young girl had been involved in a house fire and I arrived at the hospital about one in the morning and was met by the doctor who told me,and the girl's parents, that she had passed away from smoke inhilation. We were devastated. I was so tired and emotionally depleted that instead of offering them words of comfort, I just sat there and cried with them. I couldn't think of anything to say. I went home feeling that I had failed the family in their darkest hour. But after the girl's funeral her parents thanked me for just being there and sharing in their grief. They said that meant more to them than any words I could have said. One of our challenges in the ministry is in learning how to respond to others when they honestly acknowledge their feelings. I find a very helpful principle in the conversations between Job and his friends. Job said: "The words of one in despair belong to the wind" (Job 6:26). What people say in an emotional crisis is irrelevant other than to convey how deeply hurt they are. We have a tendency to fixate on words and ignore the hurt. When grief-stricken Mary and Martha greeted Jesus with the news of Lazarus' death, He wept (John 11:35). Paul's words crystallize it for us: "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep" (Romans 12:15). We are not supposed to instruct those who weep; we are supposed to weep with those who weep.